HC089 – Q&A: Creating Sexual Interest Through Conversation and Action



QUESTIONS:

“Become less political”
I try not to be but it seems anymore the things I say always have some political twists to them. It seems anytime I read a news story, watch a movie, or just read a book I always tend to see and interpret it in a political sense. I’ve been trying for a while to kick this nasty habit and am struggling.

Anyone else dealing with this or have any useful advice? I know it sounds simple but damn.

“Advice for 30’s?”
I’m 35 now and dating a lot through apps. I keep wondering if I should be more mature or more playful/exciting. I got my life together and love where I’m at, but in an attraction lull (not hitting it off the way I was when I was a broke, depressed musician). I’m worried I’m coming across as a sweater vest wearing dork as girls keep complaining about the burning man guy in their 30s, but keep dating the burning man guy in their 30s. Kind of like the Mark Manson thing of girls wanting to sleep with the guy sleeping on friend’s couches. Any experience with this?

“How do you get into a deep emotional conversation or emotional state with someone?”
I’m not very good at feeling emotions and I’d say my emotional intelligence is incredibly poor. I’m very logical with everything I do. A lot of women find me attractive and they find me interesting because I love to learn about a lot of various things that people wish they could do. A big problem for me is when I’m attracted to someone or even with anyone, guy or girl. I don’t know how to get past a surface level relationship with people and get to a more deep and emotional state.

Says she’s interested, but that I need to be patient?
Recently approached a girl from a class last semester. Got her snap and then asked her to get coffee that weekend, she said she was busy, but if I was patient, we could later on.

Okay, sounds like a rejection — right?

Another week goes by and we’re snapping back and forth, sending selfies and dumb shit. So, I ask again about getting coffee later on in the week. She says that she’s interested, but that she’s incredibly busy working two jobs and that I just need to be patient. Almost what she said last time, but instead saying that she IS interested.

I’ve heard the “busy” thing before, but this is something else. Been about a week since she said that, and we’re still snapping once in a while.

Should I just pull away and see what happens, or is this a dead end?

“How much should you pay attention to texting patterns?”
So I’m trying to get with this chick. Usually, I try not to pay attention to text patterns but her text patterns have annoyed me to the point where I’m thinking about never hitting her up again.

Now she’s cool and I’ve already hung out with her twice… she always continues the convo(I’m usually the last to stop texting) texts me back long answers, seems very excited about me talking to her and also even texts me first a decent amount. Shes even suggested going out in the city sometime. Problem is…she takes too damn long to respond!!! I’ll text her and at the least, she will take 30 mins, sometimes even hours to respond even when she texts me first.

I know she’s in grad school and probably “busy” but at the end of the day, it’s 2018… Everyone is always on their phone in this day and age, and I don’t think it’s possible to be that bad of a texter. Which is why I’m thinking of deading her.

I honestly think she either has a hard time in simply showing or stating she’s not interested or she’s playing a silly game of hard to get.

I’m not really hung up on her and probably wouldn’t date her right now but I JUST moved to a new city and I don’t have that many options rn so that’s probably why I’m a little madder at this situation than I normally would be. Any suggestions? I’m leaning towards deading but maybe I just need to be more straightforward (even though she’ll probably take 15 hours to respond lol).

“Some girls are strange”
I guess this is just a rant, but why do some girls make the initiative to introduce themselves, then you guys are friends
and hang out for a good bit of time (2 months or so), and when you make your move, she tells you “no, but we can be friends”, and then you never hear from her again? I guess she’s just filling her time. I need to stop with this whole needing an emotional connection first bullshit.

THANKS FOR LISTENING!

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  • September 17, 2018